attitude problem

Want to trade cds?
No its ok.
What do you mean?
I heard you play earlier, not my thing.
That’s so mean.
Isn’t it mean to say yes I’ll take your cd when I am not interested?
You should see a shrink.
Because I’m not into your music and I said so?
One should always find something positive to say about the art of someone else.
Have you never heard something you didn’t enjoy? Did you lie to their face and tell them it was great?
I would try to say something constructive. Not everybody has the courage to take the stage. Maybe I would say something about the fact that they took the stage.
You’re the one who should see a shrink.
Because I don’t want to hurt people’s feelings?
Because you lie to yourself.
I didn’t really want your cd anyway.
Great what?
Great you are being honest.
You have an attitude problem.
Why is that?
Because people need encouragement.
If people need encouragement why are you discouraging me from being me?
You did it again. You have an attitude problem.
You just want to be flattered.
I want to help people achieve their potential.
Very sensitive of you.
Are you making fun?
No I’m realizing you just want to help people and the truth is you have some great songs, I bet you could change the world.
That’s my plan.
Keep on doing it man. You have something special. It isn’t easy to take the stage like that.
I know. That’s what my publicist says too.
I bet he lowers his rate because he really likes your stuff.
How did you know?
Just a lucky guess.


There’s this funny thing that happens when you play a mistake and try to fix it. Often you play the mistake over and over and over expecting to play it correctly. It isn’t a good strategy for stopping the mistake. Instead one develops the mistake instead of the correction.
Like when people are upset about their behavior and focus on what they did wrong and supply judgemental feelings. Telling themselves they are bad or wrong or guilty blah blah blah, over and over. Run the same action with the hope of new outcomes but it is also sort of predictable that if there aren’t new elements introduced to the sequence of events then probably the result is just the same sequence of events.
I got it from Casey Sokal 30 years ago and maybe he said he got it from his teacher growing up in New York. Practice at the speed that you can do it perfectly.
It makes a lot of sense. Change the experience, practice doing it correctly. That it is a different speed is not a concern. I wonder if people can apply that to other problems? Probably no way that’s possible. Nope.


My evil plan is working. Returning to school finishing my Masters, nose to the grindstone, show up, do the work POOF, first semester done. No degree, just a bunch of Junos, which as it turns out, are pretty good if you play prepared piano. Seems like nobody notices I am an imposter. Certain people understand life can be war and we can be spies. When the class looked at Umwelt it wasn’t a new concept as much as it was a new word for an old idea. Younger version couldn’t handle material I didn’t agree with. Fast forward decades, it is a cinch, now so familiar with situations or ideas that I don’t agree with, if my inner voice wasn’t silenced then who cares about different opinions. My father returned to school in middle age. I’m where he was 30 years ago. Like having a new connection with him, like time travel. As far as spies go he deserved his own shoe-phone. Naturally, I’m studying music though not in the music department.