The scholarship list

Student showed up earlier than everyone else this morning, before I asked he volunteered, “I didn’t sleep last night so I just came here.” This is the same student who for spring break, took a bus to a town 90 minutes north of Toronto that he had never been to and when I asked about his plan he had none, except to see what happens by showing up. Are you going overnight I asked? No, for the whole week. There are structures in place for how I am suppose to mark these music students but I wish I could give him an A right now, just for marching to the beat of his own drummer.


I really did it, best tomato sauce ever. The real test is if I can repeat this or it was just a fluke. Guy who was suppose to vacuum out the furnace canceled at 8:30 this morning. He has no idea how many things I changed so that we could do this this morning. One more thing to add to the list things to not complain about, (and there it goes again). Wonder if there is such a thing as a booking agent who I couldn’t complain about. Who could play a role in positioning me to do my little song + dance, in places that came with interested, sober people. Tried a recipe for cheese made of cashews with agar and tapioca flour. Worked and it melts and I will never open a restaurant because that would compromise the fun I have cooking what I like. I’m writing about music or cooking because I’m taking a break from the essay I am in the middle of, about ghosts and hauntings. Not the usual way we speak of it, more like the back story of violence or trauma. As far as I’m concerned, there is no end to seeing this. Ghosts for everything, everywhere. Empty lot at Bathurst and Bloor, ghost of Honest Ed’s, Trump is in the news, ghost of democracy, dog barks at a bicycle, ghost of Daniel. But is the professor interested in me going off on a tangent? Doubt it. Ghost of  confidence.

Beatles not so secret

If one wants to gain traction maybe the secret is to liaise with the other. In a way bands are a microcosm of that because if one person is in charge of every detail, it isn’t as powerful as when they consider other ideas that aren’t necessarily to their liking… the Beatles vs. their solo records.
Many friends riled up about political assholes. That grips me too, but distrustful about preaching to the converted. An echo chamber is only an echo chamber.  In one of my classes we read Bernice Johnson Reagon (of Sweet Honey In The Rock), and a speech she gave called Coalition Politics: Turning The Century. Her experience was that political changes required coalition building, reaching out to people who are not like you.