Monthly Archives: April 2013

Conspiracy Query


Alan Park, one of the best, started a podcast called Conspiracy Query. He sent me a link to 1d01fcdcheck it out. I thought the theme song could be more distinct; I offered to make a new one. The first thing I have to keep in check with every job I do for others is remember they might not like it. Planning to hear rejection helps make it easier to accept that they are stupid assholes who don’t get the fact that I am perfect and my ideas are superior and they are wrong about anything they feel critical about.

I’m just joking ladies and gentlemen. Alan didn’t like the song, so it goes but I liked it so allow me to share it with you dear blog reader.

A theme song for a podcast probably allows 15 – 20 seconds, probably needs the name of the show mostly as lyrics.

but then I was performing recently with 39 other people in a night of 40 one minute long pieces and the brilliant comedian Allison Hogg sung Happy Birthday to a mushroom – as Bjork. Next day I thought that Bjork singing the Conspiracy Query theme song would be much more hilarious and appropriately fishy (it is a conspiracy podcast after all).

I asked Allison to sing it stLZ8XNv

Here is one of the most hilarious videos by Ladystache (the comedy duo of Allison Hogg and Stephanie Tolev) and another sketch group called the Frenzies CLICK HERE.



I was asked to score the theme for a tv series called Guidance (which is hilarious).

Sometimes people ask me to make something up, out of my head,  sometimes they say make something like this movie or that show etc. In this case they referred me to another piece of music and wanted to know if I could imitate those elements without ripping it off. Can you tell which other tv thing they asked me to look/ listen to as a template?



One of my favorite examples of his beautiful melodic sense is the instrumental version of JUNK. His melodic sensibilities are stunning, inspiring –  shame about the lyrics. So much wordplay about nothing. When he wrote “Silly Love Songs” was he quoting his diary?

Anyone who ever studied McCartney knows he loves and understands the structures of songs and how to make variations. A way of learning all artists should spend some time with. Painters copying other masters, actors assuming styles of other actors, poets imitating other poet’s  – blah blah blah. Ron Sexsmith always knew a zillion songs by other people. I didn’t see the value in that when we met but over time I realized he was smart to learn so many other songs that he loved because you fill your head with good ideas from where new ideas grow.

But copying ultimately leads to either being just a copyist or else arriving somewhere special and original. It’s wasn’t hard for Paul to sound like Little Richard in Oh Darling, not hard to sound like The Beach Boys in Back In The USSR, not hard to sound like Hendrix in Helter Skelter – but for me he doesn’t sound like Dylan in Rocky Raccoon, he just sounds like a loser.

It’s simpler to imitate musical ideas rather than the poetry of thought. If you want to imitate Dylan you better be reading and writing poetry, (good poetry). Maybe the issue is how unconnected Paul is to being serious in song.

When he tried to write a serious 911 response song he proved himself one of the corniest, gooeyist and nauseating guys that ever dared to stand in front of a microphone. Hard to get past the first sentence. Does he really think God is preferential to people like him and that making that statement rallies people to stand behind him?

This is My Right

A Right Given By God

To Live A Free Life

To Live In Freedom

and weirder,  being the very good imitator guy, he adds the echo clapping sound which many identify with Give Peace A Chance long before the QUEENS of the world made their embarrassing anthems – ugh such bad taste Paul.

But I also love Paul. He has at least two other songs that register on my serious meter. One is Dear Friend about feeling hurt by Lennon, it isn’t the most articulate but it’s good enough. I feel the pain and I believe it.

The other one is a political song and it’s so much more fantastic than the contrived 911 song.  Give Ireland Back To The Irish. Fantastic. Paul, do more of that pretty please.

I’m guessing the difference between you writing Give Ireland Back To The Irish and Freedom was not only 30 years and a few thousand bowls of sensimilla enjoyed with soy turkey sandwhiches. I’m guessing it was about the extent to which you imagined approval from an imaginary audience vs. not giving a shit about an audience. It takes more guts for a guy from the UK to sing about the UK getting the fuck out of Ireland rather than singing to Americans about how freedom loving they/ we are. Okay I’m glad you asked me for my opinion Paul and we’ve cleared that up. Your welcome.

Give Ireland back to the Irish
Don’t make them have to take it away
Give Ireland back to the Irish
Make Ireland Irish today

Great Britian you are tremendous
And nobody knows like me
But really what are you doin’
In the land across the sea

Tell me how would you like it
If on your way to work
You were stopped by Irish soliders
Would you lie down do nothing
Would you give in, or go berserk