Monthly Archives: November 2013

50 Cent and Vitamin Water?!

Somewhere in America they love me – or at least they did one day last August when a writer for Earbits named Scott Feldman was given the assignment of reviewing my current release.

What’s more special in my memory banks,¬† being dissed by Richard Flohil or celebrated by Scott Feldman? Not hard a query to answer – Scott lemme buy you a drink sometime. But unfortunately my new best friend, Scott – got the message to one song wrong.

Does that mean everyone doesn’t get it? Oh no. Take a listen before reading further. See what you think the song is about.

Lobbyists at Parliament

Ok are you back?….. I can’t hear you. I said are you back? (people yell into their computers) That’s better, thanks everybody.

So Scott thought that song was about the music industry. uh uh. It is about the people who manipulate or facilitate the political situation for whoever is paying. It’s about the horrible bullshit that happens as though normal, in both Canadian and American systems.

With all due respect to Scott (who as I know now is an amazing writer way better than Richard Flohil) let me ask you something.

Is it too hard to follow the joke that Bo Diddley or Little Richard were trying to “win” at acquiring a seat or a presidency or just changing laws so they could profit. It’s about Bo Diddley as a corporation. Are any of you with me or am I just way too cryptic? So sad here on my island, bye now.

The Public Archive


There is a letter in the public archive which Groucho Marx wrote to Warner Brothers in response to a legal challenge made by Warner Brothers to halt the film A Night In Casablanca ostensibly because of fear that the names would confuse the public.

Dear Warner Bros.,

Apparently there is more than one way of conquering a city and holding it as your own. For example, up to the time that we contemplated making this picture, I had no idea that the city of Casablanca belonged exclusively to Warner Brothers.

The letter is amazing. I thought about Canadian scientists or just ordinary awake citizens (extraordinary nowadays) writing to Prime Minister Stephen Harper about the legacy of shame and intimidation brought to the present by his extremely dirty work including de-funding the Experimental Lakes Program and ending the long form census, bringing a halt to evidence based science because it interferes with business interests – like ones which might be restricted because they pollute, you know?

Perhaps making people laugh is a reliable way to get them to do the right thing. I don’t know for sure but smarter people than me (everyone basically), arrived at this conclusion long ago. Then again maybe it’s just a way to keep your dignity in the face of severe bullshit, maybe both. I admired the fact that in Groucho’s school the way to fight the madness of autocracy is to demonstrate notions that are equally insane.

You claim that you own Casablanca and that no one else can use that name without permission. What about “Warner Brothers”? Do you own that too? You probably have the right to use the name Warner, but what about the name Brothers? Professionally, we were brothers long before you were.

Read the original letter here

Unfortunately when I dug a little deeper I discovered this hilarious letter was not actually based on any real threat from Warner Brothers. It was just a nicely hand drawn story by the man with a paint-on mustache. But dammit I still hate Stephen Harper so I found myself looking up more truth speakers and censorship and landed unsurprisingly on Bill Hicks.

Viewable on the public Archive is last video interview he gave before dying at 32 of pancreatic cancer. He had just done his last appearance on the David Letterman show but was censored because of his pro life joke. He noticed later that there was a pro life advertisement on the episode and concluded that the two were linked.

He was told it was CBS that removed his routine because it didn’t meet their standards it was in fact David Letterman himself who made the judgement. Life is complicated, even my hatred of Harper could be changed if he simply moved to Jupiter. But here’s the thing – fifteen years later, David Letterman invited Hick’s mother to attend the show while he aired the unedited original footage of his last appearance.

The actual Letterman performance 15 years later

As Bill Hicks followed his muse he arrived in a place where to make comedy meant telling the truth about what’s going on, unfiltered, accurate, insightful but it meant some hostility and rejection from the status quo…and then he got an incurable illness.

Bill Hicks last interview from the Public Archive site






About Sam Larkin: brick through glass

sam-posterSam gave me advice when I was in my early 20s about establishing a career.

“I don’t know what to do Sam, it’s like a fixed game.”

“It’s easy Bob I know what you need to do.”


“You go to 1rst Canadian place and you throw a brick at the entrance, smash the windows. In broad daylight.”

“Smash the windows?”

“The front doors. Exactly. And while they take you away, the police that is, you make sure you explain I’m Bob Wiseman The MUSICIAN! ¬†– you simply insist that that’s who you are. ”

“Uh huh.”

“I’m telling you Bob, make sure you are quoted, always, as MUSICIAN Bob Wiseman every time you speak about what you did, like every single time. And they’ll want to hear you, they’ll want to know what you got, where it is, what it sounds like. Or maybe you say I’m Bob WIseman SONGWRITER… whatever. That’s how you do it.”

“I’m not sure I can do that Sam.”

“It’s very simple Bob.”

“Okay thanks, see you next Week.”

“We’ll read about you in the papers, Bob. Good luck.”