Monthly Archives: June 2017

same

The back stages
 
of lower level
 
performance places
 
have broken chairs
 
missing light bulbs
 
graffiti
 
doorless toilet stalls.
 
 
The back stages
 
of upper level
performance places
 
have security guards
 
fluorescent lights
 
fruit trays & deli platters
 
solid polished floors.
 
The first crowd pays less than $10
The second crowd pays more than $25
The same material is performed.

Voyager 1 & 2

There was an idea to treat outer space like the ocean it is and in 1977 they launched spaceships Voyager 1 & 2 replete with messages in a bottle ostensibly for aliens to discover and consider. 
 
No paintings, no sculpture, no architecture and no modern dance. What did they include to impress the aliens if either Voyager was successful?
 
Glen Gould,
Beethoven,
Mozart,
Stravinsky,
Azerbaijani folk music,
Guan Pinghu,
Blind Willie Johnson,
Chuck Berry,
KesarbiKerkar,
Valya Balkanska and
recordings of people saying hello in 55 different languages.
 
Music is our species way of showing off intelligence.
 

the guidance counsellor’s office

I reviewed your history and would like to call your attention to some facts

  • you start laughing if people take serious things you don’t think serious and
  • you’re don’t mind taking the long way even when there is a short cut and
  • you used to change cigarette brands based on packaging colours and
  • you don’t diligently follow recipes when cooking and
  • you don’t need to freak out if things are a little out of tune and
  • you think it’s ok to play the set list in a random sequence
  • you changed high schools every year

I recommend a career in freely improvised music.

That will be $400 plus HST.

It’s not funny that’s my service please pay your bill. Please stop smirking. Do you think that’s funny? Are you hearing me?