Monthly Archives: July 2017

security

Once in a while I’m in a line up probably in grocery store and a song is playing in the background and I am on it and I I get the idea to tell the cashier, just to share the surrealism, but I know then probably the cashier will feel obligated to check where security is standing. So I take my change and go.

 

 

2 nominations

 Couple of my nominations for best stupid songs that were also bona fide hits.
2 4    h o u r s    f r o m    T u l s a.
 
.
A story told by a man who was almost home but damn it he had an affair. He’s confronted with the fact that there is more than one “self” responsible for his personality and one of these god damned “selves” slept around – but the irony is he was almost home! Almost didn’t have to deal with that particular bastard “self” the one that cheated on her…if only he had arrived sooner. He sees himself as the hero in all this and the blame goes to that damn attractive woman at the hotel who seduced him when he was almost home.
 
.
Dearest darling I had to write to say that I won’t be home anymore
‘Cause something happened to me while I was driving home
And I’m not the same anymore
Oh, I was only twenty four hours from Tulsa
Ah, only one day away from your arms
I saw a welcoming light and stopped to rest for the night
 
And that is when I saw her as I pulled in outside of the small motel she was there
And so I walked up to her, asked where I could get something to eat
And she showed me where.
Oh, I was only twenty four hours from Tulsa
Ah, only one day away from your arms
She took me to the café, I asked her if she would stay, she said “OK”
 
Oh, I was only twenty four hours from Tulsa
Ah, only one day away from your arms
The jukebox started to play and night time turned into day as we were dancing
Closely, all of a sudden I lost control as I held her charms
And I caressed her, kissed her, told her I’d die
Before I would let her out of my arms
 
Oh, I was only twenty four hours from Tulsa
Ah, only one day away from your arms
I hate to do this to you but I love somebody new, what can I do?
And I can never, never, never go home again.
 
 
 
The other beauty is     Y o u ‘ r e    H a v i n g    M y    B a b y.
 
.
I wonder how much Paul Anka laboured over the lyric. He sure adds a sinister twist following the 2cnd chorus when a female voice representing the pregnant woman affirms his version thus qualifying Paul’s hallucination. She’s grateful to the man for impregnating her and for just being the amazing guy he is. We find out in the last verse she almost had an abortion but was either against abortion or else overwhelmed with the possibility this child was associated with Grammy award winning sperm, either way it’s got my nomination.
 
 
.
Having my baby
What a lovely way of saying
How much you love me.
Having my baby
What a lovely way of saying
What you’re thinking of me.
 
I can see it your face is glowing
 
I can see it in your eyes.
I’m happy knowing that you’re having my baby.
You’re the woman I love and I love what it’s doing to you.
Having my baby
You’re a woman in love and I love
What’s going through you.
The need inside you
I see it showing
The seed inside you
Baby, Do you feel it growing
Are you happy in knowing that you’re having my baby?
 
I’m a woman in love and I love
What it’s doing to me.
Having my baby.
I’m a woman in love and I love
What’s going through me.
 
Didn’t have to keep it
Wouldn’t put you through it.
You could have swept it from your life
But you wouldn’t do it
No you wouldn’t do it.
And you’re having my baby.

easy answer

My daughter spilled orange juice onto my Macbook last weekend. Who’s fault could it be but mine letting a 5 yr old watch a program on a computer with a tall glass of orange juice in her hands. Track pad soon became all whack-a-doodle, could not click on anything and the longer the computer remained on the more it started being controlled by invisible forces. Repair inquiries indicated $150 – $300.
 
Decided to take the plunge after reviewing fix-it tutorials on Youtube but more than one friend said
 
“I’ve never done that.”
 
“Are you crazy?”
 
“Don’t do it.”
 
“Have you ever done it before?”
 
Chickens, all chickens but the thing is, most of us (leaders of music projects) know we have to do everything ourselves, that’s how it is probably always will be. We book the shows, we pick up the band, sell the merch (nowadays I give it away), pay the gas, negotiate the door, negotiate the studio time, the schedules of others (insert infinity).
 
Very unlikely anyone ever gets to be Ron Sexsmith – gigging around the world and doesn’t know how to drive a car – astonishing. People drive him to and fro. It’s unnatural, it’s incredible. One in a million. If orange juice spills into his computer bet someone swoops down from the clouds and fixes it free, maybe it would even be me, “gimme that damn computer lemme at it with my 00phillips. There, done, your welcome”.
 
Sometimes interviewers throw a certain question out to me as though they are asking something nobody ever thought of before.
 
“Let me ask you something, in a perfect world what is it you want? A record deal? A movie deal? Produce a hit? Write a hit? A world tour?”
 
I know the answer to this question, it’s the easiest question ever invented in a world of difficult questions.
 
“Staff.”