Yesterday at the Santa Claus parade the first participant we noticed was a clown with a garbage can. Wonder if anyone besides me understood the planners vision: Santa at the end and Rob Ford at the front. The sidewalk is filled with wet leaves, the new tree is now leafless but when I gaze at it I see the future, how big and beautiful it will be and how unfortunate for my south facing solar panel dream wall. Woke up and listened to the usual cacophony, same old internal issues, same station. Thought this is just like the external noise of disappointing human activity. Like how humans pollute and there is no appealing to them to recognize the future deaths, including themselves. Same emotional experience as appealing to inner tape loops. Change your own recording or else! Or else what? After the parade we took a sauna. I miss the sweat that the Y membership afforded, the conversations with random men about random issues but especially the cat and mouse games between me and anal management types proud of the sign “rules for being in sauna”. Threatened with being kicked out for reading in the dry sauna. Sometimes when my guard was down I would try appealing to them to think a little more realistically. As pointless as trying to change oneself and anyone else.
When he writes about the main issue after first writing about the quality of ketchup, everyone just wants to share ketchup stories. All of them miss the point. I told him the same thing happens to me and anything different is just fairy tales. He said he knows but the premise of people getting it is a big motivator. What was it Mark French said while hanging by one arm from one pipe at the Paddock? If 1988 had a best moment the Cartwrights nabbed it then and there. He said it didn’t matter if people got it, what mattered was that you believed in telling them. Like it might change anything.