Sometimes, back at school, I am in a position where I must endure stuff I am not into. In those moments a wee bit immobilized. Want to say things I should probably not say. A bit like watching a band and wanting to solo over what they are doing, I really could contribute, I am so absolutely certain it would add something valuable maybe even magical but I might be totally wrong. To jump in or not. For whom would I be doing it for? How awkward if I’m totally wrong to think I’m welcome there or start a fight I don’t want to have.
When I was little I saw Lightnin’ Hopkins at the Playhouse in Winnipeg, saw Muddy Waters too but Lightnin’ Hopkins felt more powerful or unique, seemed like we all were learning something first hand. Saw Sonny Terry and Brownie McGhee, loved his harp style, anyone who plays harp and does not sound like Sonny Terry (or Little Walter), doesn’t keep my attention very long. I didn’t know they weren’t close during those years, that apparently, they even stayed in separate hotels. I’m glad they didn’t seem angry on stage. I was angry on stage once, for about a year. I stopped moving and tried to play everything with just my left hand, secret way of saying fuck you all, pretty sure it worked.