Belle Michelle

From her blog April 30th, 2014

a social worker met with me yesterday to ostensibly discuss how i’m doing with the prognosis i’ve been given.. her first question was, “so, well how do you feel about the decision you took to pursue your ‘naturopathic treatments’ (her emphasis not mine) you know, and now find yourself in this condition in hospital?”

“well, if i’m not mistaken, every single one of the patients in this ward are here after dutifully following their doctor’s advice to take chemo and radiation, have you asked them the same question? you know, how they feel after following standard of care and its promise of remission and greater quality of life, but find themselves in this condition in hospital?”

 michelle bellerose

Michelle Bellerose died a few days ago, I found out earlier today. She was many more things than what I knew about her. I knew the club owner in St. Catharines, the vegetarian cook who’s restaurant won best of the decade from Now Magazine. She was also a musician and frank spiritual woman.

Michelle Bellerose holy man

Most people who I talk to about open stages like Fat Alberts aren’t interested and don’t come. She did instantly and brought her bass and looping pedals and blew minds. It was beautiful.

I never knew about her artwork until she became sick and I saw the images in her blogs. Her blog about the path she walked these last months is especially meaningful to anyone trying to make sense out of your body and your health and the circumstances you will be up against if your instincts are different around healing vs. the systems of our medical establishments.

More from April 30th 2014

so yes. these are the decisions one has to face down, and i love being in the driver seat, i love not having to explain my choices, i love being in a contrary environment that requires that i take a 360 view into account and synthesize an approach that uniquely suits me but couriers in facts and reality, that i don’t just do what i’m told and stew about it on the sidelines as if i have no power when dialoguing with a medical authority. if we’re going to talk about evidence-based medicine, let’s really.

 

6 thoughts on “Belle Michelle

  1. Armino

    thank you for the lovely page!…this was the last poem she wrote in hospital…

    look for me

    look for me
    in the critical mass of a high easterly rain
    the minute it gives way
    to the lockjaw steam and bite of
    sunshine talons

    in closed-for-the-season terraces and their edgy lampshade leaf skins
    waifish cigarette butts and other cornerstore detruis
    harkening an absent pink wine melody of details

    in the funnel shadows of brakish waters
    busy in the stillness of blooming pond scum and whizzing insect arrays
    in the red form of uncertain springtime syzygies
    and the techno stress of an evolution that doesn’t yet know its own
    nature

    in pyramids of forest sap resisting the downward trend
    of cowering fern bodies that cling gymnastically
    to earthen inferiorities like some changeling

    in the colourless swell of the oceans at daybreak
    when there’s no one around to witness a thing

    look for me

    in the beat of the long-haul trucks battering
    viscera parkways like zombies in shopping malls
    their roadkill corpses weeping in the polar sun

    in the big commercial wharves, yellow drag nets barren of catch
    for this soft underlay of a cinematic afternoon that finds
    civilization’s teacup gone cold

    in the bark of starlight over the arctic melting
    out of control like the chuffed bonfire of human savagery

    in the purple demonstration of every political sigh
    and argument avoided for the sake of cereal-cartel conciliation
    in the timbre of a voice that fails to deliver
    yet manages to slip you everything

    look for me
    in the crosshatch of a limpid twilight that
    makes the candles in the grotto seem extra rosy
    in the docility of a kitchen when the last of the dishes are done
    and the smell of cooking can no longer be traced to its formative
    ingredients

    look for me
    look for love

    Michelle Bellerose 2 May 2014

    Reply
  2. Eddie

    Michelle was a very special person. She gave us many great gifts with her music, artwork and writings. I miss you my friend . I’m really sorry that I wasn’t there to say goodbye. Xoxo

    Reply
  3. Crystal Silden

    her friendship was a gift to me and I will forever admire and love her. I have never met anyone that I felt such connection with so quickly. A treasure in my life that was too short lived.

    Reply

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