envy

Most of my life I liked knowing that as a man there wouldn’t be a child coming through my body. The idea seemed way too painful. One day a woman I know said something about how cathartic childbirth was and now she didn’t fear death.
 
Pardon me? What do you mean? I asked very seriously since fearing death was right up there among my favourite things to do. She said giving birth was, for her, like dying. She anticipated her actual death will be exhilarating as a result. That is the word she used, exhilarating.
 
It occurred to me for the first time nature might set things up like that. Maybe many women have an experience with childbirth altering their state of mind forever also about dying. I was envious.

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