harmonica

Lived with a dog that used to howl if I played a certain note on the harmonica. Like pressing a start button on his brain. Felt the same way about smoking, just couldn’t stop it if a certain thought in my brain was pressed. Never subscribed to the line of thought that nicotine was the problem for am I not my own master? No apparently. There is no free will and there is. One of those things that can’t be explained exactly with words. I tried to empathize with the dog and how it lived especially being a creature that should be running free that found itself restricted by people and their important television watching schedules. I promised the dog to be different and not contribute to unnecessary suffering. The dog promised to not judge me which made me feel worse. I play a bit but have remained inadequate because I compare every note to Little Walter. And why not judge yourself against those who hit the mark? Maybe because judging yourself is like pressing a button on your brain, like starting a tape loop, like entering something that will end negatively, again. Maybe better than shaking a paw is to be disinterested in participating.

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