losing the audience, so what

The weirdest thing happened, she found herself thinking she should make her work more understandable. Then she realized that that entailed abandoning what turned her on in the first place. Then she wondered what was making her think this? Then she recalled hearing actors once upon a time say that they don’t read reviews once a run starts…’so that’s why they do that’ she thought. Then she realized all of these problems just because 4 months ago Dick Jackson, celebrity TV real estate agent, accidentally caught the band and spoke about it in the next episode of how to partition old churches into multiple condos while avoiding land transfer fees. He loved the band and singled her out for “weird solos” which was her style, (she liked ending without obvious resolution). The unexpected promotion by Dick, resulted in unexpected attention, shows were selling out and they moved to larger venues. With so many inspecting eyes comes so many critical voices. Now there were many new reviews about her playing and she felt the weirdness of people divided between finding her exciting or finding her irritating. How could I forget all about what I love in the first place and why I do what I do?

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