bacterium are single cells covered by a membrane which keeps the outside world out and the inside world in. sounds very familiar.
bacteria are the oldest life forms on the earth. 4 billion years. if there’s a legit earthling it’s them, they’ve been here the longest. they’re inside us. in fact it might be they are us since it’s questionable whether or not there is an us or just cellular commands to reference your body as your body and you as I. if it’s all a bacterial conspiracy it’s best strategy is perpetuating in us a universal disbelief of that possibility.

for certain performers applause following a performance is never anything other than awkward because what is being applauded anyway? did you make up the music? did you invent Eb? did you invent the instrument?

just kidding. none of those questions mean anything. um right?

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