working on a new piece and while trying to balance left hand and right hand, i’m reminded of the the effort involved trying to train one’s mind or the assumption one could. not a very accurate assumption. same stakes trying to direct your fingers (or mind) to remember the way of executing whatever idea struck your fancy. The unknowing each time, can you yet pull it off? like trying to quit smoking or lose weight or not react with anger or speak a new language etc. etc. – the idea of teaching oneself how to be, telling mind how to be different from how it actually is. i thought it was wise when michelle shocked wrote, “when i grow up i’m going to be an old woman”. that’s about as accurate as it gets.