the speed trap up ahead

There’s this space one gets into writing music where you might not necessarily execute the idea even though you understand what you want to do. One tries different ways of repositioning oneself and certain inaccuracies occur. Sometimes you’re just practising the mistake. It’s important detective work: how do you keep making the mistake and how can you interrupt it? It’s like the way people are triggered in mind about unwanted behaviour. Like trying to stop drinking and being offered a glass of wine, trying to not smoke and entering a space full of smokers. Doesn’t mean you have to fail but there’s an advantage to knowing its coming instead of being surprised by it. That’s what I find myself thinking about while writing this current piece in G minor. Knowing the error in advance, knowing the wrong way to play the passage or knowing the trigger that opens the door to the unwanted sequence. It is like when people in passing cars flash their lights, as if to say there’s a cop up ahead – look out. Trying to see if I can also be the other car flashing lights at me.

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