talking to yourself

I misread my calendar and went to the physiotherapy appointment a day early. They couldn’t find my appointment, then they realized I absolutely am at fault because Gus, the therapist, only sees dogs on Mondays. Gus is a talented physiotherapist even more so now that I know he works with pooches. He also talks to himself while helping me. I didn’t understand at first, then realized it is possibly tourette’s syndrome. It’s sort of awesome how he says things under his breath while speaking to me. It’s in almost every sentence and at first I was going to ask him why he is doing that, then realized it is something about his mind, his situation, his wiring. Realized the question was unnecessary, he just is like this, ok. Magali catches me sometimes talking to myself out loud and points it out as if it is weird to do that but everyone talks to themselves. Maybe me doing it out loud is a little weird but the mind is like this. Talking to oneself is the way mind’s work. Tell yourself you are late for the appointment, you shouldn’t say anything about that big pimple on your friend’s face, you like those shoes, you should make a better effort learning algebra. She says “who are you talking to?” but isn’t that all of us, even if we don’t speak out loud? Simultaneously the talker and the listener? Is it because the brain is cut into two hemispheres? Music, a whole other extension of talking to yourself. I’ll start this thing in F#, da da da da da, Where should I go? What’s the four chord, what’s the 6? Let’s try that. What else can my left hand do differently now? Talking to oneself with sound, that’s what music is.

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