for my next trick

the mind works through conversation with itself sometimes with imaginary characters like the creator of the universe, like as if you are talking with god. my friend explained her embrace of religion exactly because of that experience. she said she heard a voice in her head and knew it was god speaking to her. i think she’s just speaking to herself. to see it and realize it is like seeing the bars on the window more clearly of the cell in the jail where you live your happy life. everyone is in jail. one time, producing andrew cash at metalworks, i went to play a piano part and from the control booth. soon andrew and l. stu chimed in that i was speeding up. this couldn’t be possible! me? speeding up?! it was the most humbling experience to later listen back and hear myself in and out of being correct. the only choice now was to listen differently and foster a healthy suspicion whenever i was assuring myself how correct i was. now i would have to listen with an entirely different sensitivity, a whole other attempt to subdivide the meter and distrust the tricks of mind.

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