playing her first song

Susan liked her room in the shared house, it meant she really had arrived. Previously, she stayed with Svetlana which was good the first couple days even though it was just a couch, but after two weeks their previous closeness was in need of distance. Svetlana didn’t say it directly, but now she asked about three times a day if Susan had any luck yet finding her own place. The meaning was understood and fortunately she met Mrs. Tsavniki at the laundromat, who even on tippy toes could not reach the desired section she sought on the bulletin board. She was very short with a forceful way when taking care of her needs, not speaking much English did not stop her from pinching the elbow of Susan’s sweater and pulling her toward the bulletin board as if she had a previous arrangement allowing her to be commandeered whenever. Susan, who was naturally shy, maybe especially because she was still new to Toronto, had actually been reading a book about asserting oneself and for a second thought the stranger surprisingly pulling her, was too amazing to be a coincidence. However, she almost immediately gave in because the woman was so small it was more amusing than threatening. She wondered how Mrs. Tsavniki picked her out, there were many people at that moment doing laundry, was there a sign on her back that said “sucker”? With he nose, Mrs. Tsavniki pointed at the free space in the top right corner indicating Susan should take the red thumbtacks and her poster, she said “You put. You put”, and pantomimed the motion adding a smile that looked like it just as easily could break into a cry. Susan asked her slowly, “you want me to put this poster on the bulletin board?” “Please Mrs. please” replied Mrs.Tsavniki. Susan looked over the actual poster it was an advertisement for a room in a house with utilities included for a reasonable price, then turned back and stabbed at her own chest with her index finger “I would like to see it.” “Yes Mrs. Good. Brunseak yes.” Now in her room, enjoying the random sequence that put her here she started writing a song on her guitar in an open tuning about how to be okay about not asserting oneself. On the bulletin board there was another poster the details of which she wrote down. It was for an open stage and it began to brew in her mind that she might try singing her own song there.

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