After the dog story.

When he writes about the main issue after first writing about the quality of ketchup, everyone just wants to share ketchup stories. All of them miss the point. I told him the same thing happens to me and anything different is just fairy tales. He said he knows but the premise of people getting it is a big motivator. What was it Mark French said while hanging by one arm from one pipe at the Paddock? If 1988 had a best moment the Cartwrights nabbed it then and there. He said it didn’t matter if people got it, what mattered was that you believed in telling them. Like it might change anything.


Lived with a dog that used to howl if I played a certain note on the harmonica. Like pressing a start button on his brain. Felt the same way about smoking, just couldn’t stop it if a certain thought in my brain was pressed. Never subscribed to the line of thought that nicotine was the problem for am I not my own master? No apparently. There is no free will and there is. One of those things that can’t be explained exactly with words. I tried to empathize with the dog and how it lived especially being a creature that should be running free that found itself restricted by people and their important television watching schedules. I promised the dog to be different and not contribute to unnecessary suffering. The dog promised to not judge me which made me feel worse. I play a bit but have remained inadequate because I compare every note to Little Walter. And why not judge yourself against those who hit the mark? Maybe because judging yourself is like pressing a button on your brain, like starting a tape loop, like entering something that will end negatively, again. Maybe better than shaking a paw is to be disinterested in participating.

get out the door

Getting out the door with someone who is 5 can take about 3 hours. No sweat, you only live once, unless you are totally deluded and expect some sort of forever real estate waiting in some sort of imaginary world where just because you were born with the capacity to think thoughts you feel like that entitles you to some sort of never ending existence. So she floats “we die?” Yes but you’ll first live for a long time. Will you die before me? Yes I’ll die before you. I’ll miss you when you’re dead. Don’t worry, we’ll know each other a long time but after I’m dead when you see the stars at night I’ll be one of them looking down at you. That’s good, you will be a star in the sky. Yep, the best kind of star. What other kinds of stars are there? Sometimes people call themselves stars but if someone calls themselves a star it is proof that they aren’t. I know. How did you know? Because they aren’t in the sky. Exactamungo, can we put your boots on?