another day another rejection letter. wish they gave awards for this. i won’t be the digital music teacher at ryerson, oh well. all that practice of older brothers breaking arms behind my back paid off, i’m not good at giving up. more submissions to come mofo’s. and then there’s the sshrc grants. how could i possibly apply for a grant to offset writing about music and consciousness, why would government money support that effort? i bet if it was defence related they’d like it. music that fired weapons or music that protected soldiers from being attacked. maybe i should twist post traumatic stress disorder as an angle for music and consciousness? sometimes you can’t see it coming and good things materialize. the realm of the invisible alison once called it, and she was right. you can’t get derailed by imagining how inadequate or unrelatable your ideas are. mind likes to worry about survival. most worry is just mind and survival which means a lot if it started to hail but these are abstract ideas about the workplace. woe be the person worrying more for the abstract than the real.