{"id":5001,"date":"2018-12-11T14:59:38","date_gmt":"2018-12-11T14:59:38","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.bobwiseman.ca\/?p=5001"},"modified":"2018-12-12T03:21:05","modified_gmt":"2018-12-12T03:21:05","slug":"trying-to-write-his-own-story","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.bobwiseman.ca\/?p=5001","title":{"rendered":"the fiction about fiction that wasn’t fiction"},"content":{"rendered":"
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Just another beautiful morning in Nelson as he looked out at the clouds and mountains while reaching for his plant based milk & non gmo cheerios. There was a knock on the door, UPS delivery from Holler Armstrong the man who started Bliss Magazine that later became a fashion journal that later became a podcast that later became a Netflix tv series but this was early years, still a free weekly publication funded by escort agency classified ads prior to the internet. Holler had a multi million dollar idea,\u00a0<\/span><\/span>his financial advisor, Irene Melhuish from Nesbit Burns was actually the one who dreamed it up. \u00a0“You know Holler, I can thee the big pictuh”, said\u00a0Irene who smoked cigarillos and had a speech impediment. She blew large smoke rings that to Holler resembled how many zeros would come after 1, if their plan came to fruition. The plan was to create a Virtual Reality experience of the Beatles on Ed Sullivan complete with backstage access, hotel parties and the Fabs landing BOAC on the tarmac. Holler was reinventing himself as an auteur but first he wanted to make a small doc just for experience, he had seen enough music videos, how hard could it be? This first film would be about Jack-the-alcohlic-bassist-in-a-band-going-nowhere and his promise and the tragic ending, beat up by a bouncer at a booze can off Augusta in the early days of Queen Street TV a regular satellite broadcast of a loft party.<\/div>\n
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The young woman from UPS pointed at the name on the package and all the hyphens and asked is this you? He was shocked, nobody knew where he lived. He nodded in the affirmative, signed the paper and opened the package. Holler had written a lengthy letter requesting to interview the\u00a0drummer-who-liked-to-state-the-obvious, next week at the Hume Hotel across the street from the Kootenay food co-op for his film profiling\u00a0Jack-the-alcohlic-bassist-in-a-band-going-nowhere. They had been close friends back in the day, shared an apartment on Walmer Rd. and played shows together. At one point\u00a0the drummer-who-liked-to-state-the-obvious saved his housemate’s ass when he was randomly stopped for questioning by the police forgetting he had a 100 hits of acid in his pocket; he was also just starting to peak. \u00a0Jack-the-alcohlic-bassist-in-a-band-going-nowhere started to challenge the authority of the police using basic LSD logic. They asked “where you boys headed?” he replied defiantly “Are you going to take the air away from us?” His friend had better instincts re: how to appear straight and assured the cops there was nothing suspicious about two musicians on their way to Grossman’s. He dug his fingernails into his friend’s arm which confused him enough to remain quiet. \u00a0After the police left, one friend reminded the other about the contents of his pockets and he literally turned pale. The story became infamous and Holler wanted to film\u00a0the drummer-who-liked-to-state-the-obvious telling the tale.\u00a0<\/span><\/div>\n<\/div>\n
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But Holler didn’t realize he had become an adherent of Bokonon, the fictitious cult created by Kurt Vonnegut Jr. whose best secret was that it was in fact not fiction. \u00a0Bokonon taught that everything was a lie. Since everything was a lie, Bokononists practiced living the opposite. Would he sit for an interview to talk about himself? No. Everybody already loves to talk about themselves.\u00a0<\/span><\/div>\n
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7 years before<\/span><\/div>\n<\/div>\n
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The drummer-who-liked-to-state-the-obvious noticed the singer-who-was-more-a-leisure-suit-model-than-musician spent the night locked in the bathroom with the intoxicated 19 yr old who Squeeky the guitar tech, earlier led backstage where she asked if they would autograph her chest; she brought an orange sharpie. The next day the singer-who-was-more-a-leisure-suit-model-than-musician was uncharacteristically silent when he took the driver seat as they drove from Moncton to Halifax. He avoided eye contact with everyone. A red tinge to his skin, “Are you sick?” asked Squeeky \u00a0but no response came back.<\/span><\/div>\n<\/div>\n
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Meanwhile, pregnant with their second child the woman-who-gave-up-her-photogrphy-practise-for-his-dreams-of-a-record-deal was wondering how things were going in the East Coast and what colour to paint the baby’s room.\u00a0The drummer-who-liked-to-state-the-obvious wondered what would happen the next time he saw the woman-who-gave-up-her-photogrphy-practise-for-his-dreams-of-a-record-deal because if he didn’t say anything to her (or the other partners of his bandmates) he would be an asshole for keeping something secret that they would want to be told about or if he exposed their sneaking around he would be an asshole to the guys who had plans to continue being popular music men and secretive frat-house boys.<\/span><\/div>\n<\/div>\n
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When the goth-who-was-stuck-in-this-town offered to read his Tarot cards, he decided to take him up on it. They sat by the back wall of Red Herring books near the Misty Moon. The goth-who-was-stuck-in-this-town had many piercings and offered to pierce the nose or cheeks of the drummer-who-liked-to-state-the-obvious but he just wanted to hear what the cards said. He dealt the cards slowly and raised his eyebrows as if he had heard something surprising. “Tell me. Tell me.” said the drummer-who-liked-to-state-the-obvious. “it says you should move to Nelson and work in a grow op.”<\/span><\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Just another beautiful morning in Nelson as he looked out at the clouds and mountains while reaching for his plant based milk & non gmo cheerios. There was a knock […]<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"ngg_post_thumbnail":0,"Layout":"","footnotes":""},"categories":[8],"tags":[],"class_list":["entry","author-rockbob","post-5001","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","category-warfare"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.bobwiseman.ca\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/5001","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.bobwiseman.ca\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.bobwiseman.ca\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.bobwiseman.ca\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.bobwiseman.ca\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=5001"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.bobwiseman.ca\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/5001\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.bobwiseman.ca\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=5001"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.bobwiseman.ca\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=5001"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.bobwiseman.ca\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=5001"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}