Mortality tastes different after the forties. Knowing something viscerally, that the younger don’t. They might have the latest app or a radical piercing in their underwear, maybe even a tattoo behind their eyelids but certain aspects of life are only understood from first hand knowledge of mixing endurance and time. My mother does not have many lifelong friends who are the same age, the nineties. Another gone last week. A big splash her whole lifetime, in the end all the ripples end. Part of the ocean again, she is, my mother’s friend. Now new waves busy believing they are indefinitely here as we’re all supposed to. <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Sometimes, I try to rehearse my death. Jim Morrison is in the background reprising the Apocalypse Now soundtrack and I explore what or how can I deal with the end, my only friend, the end. Performances and touring did this to me, positioned me to rehearse ahead of time, stage fright antidote. Some of the students say it’s is their big fear. I try sending them to comedy shows, watch alone at the microphone, no hiding behind an instrument. The best ones improvising about who they are. They appreciatively smile but don’t get around to taking my advice. Maybe they prefer keeping their stage fright. I can’t know what it’s like to be in my nineties but I have learned to try rejecting thinking I do know things I couldn’t possibly have ever experienced. Added a new pattern this morning to a classical composition, a pattern for the left hand, a hard thing to do but for the moment I can execute it. I added it partly because it sounds exciting to me, also just to fuck up other pianists. That’s my sense of how the minds’ worked of certain pianists I admire. They’re dead, I can’t ask them if I’m right. Maybe the only thing we leave behind are riddles.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
Mortality tastes different after the forties. Knowing something viscerally, that the younger don’t. They might have the latest app or a radical piercing in their underwear, maybe even a tattoo […]<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"ngg_post_thumbnail":0,"Layout":"","footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["entry","author-rockbob","post-7081","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","category-uncategorized"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.bobwiseman.ca\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/7081","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.bobwiseman.ca\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.bobwiseman.ca\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.bobwiseman.ca\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.bobwiseman.ca\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=7081"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.bobwiseman.ca\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/7081\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.bobwiseman.ca\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=7081"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.bobwiseman.ca\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=7081"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.bobwiseman.ca\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=7081"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}