I take the morning train twice a week to London for my UWO teaching job. I am early because I can’t handle not being early. Screwing up happens and being early gives me the security that nothing now can interfere with me living up to my end of the transaction. I am fascinated by people who are unlike me. I envy their sleeping in longer and even deeply with none of my worries. Don’t they know they could screw up and miss the train?! I have missed interviews, meetings and maybe even a flight one time. I would say 7 times out of 800. Less than 1 % but still shameful. Especially that live interview with a station in Winnipeg when my father called me the next morning to ask where I was the night before? The DJ kept saying you would be there any second but you never showed up. Sorry dad. <\/p>\n\n\n\n
I have a brother who is ten years older than me and he is just as worried as me about the same stuff or even moreso. We have another brother who is most definitely not wired up this way, so much for blaming genes. I see all their faces in the mirror and my parents. How can I believe I’m me when I’m also them? A kid in my neighbourhood used to joke about Arnold Schwarzenegger’s strength, that he could beat someone up with just his pinky. I was almost late for the job application. Usually I do these early like the train. Get it out of the way. I am not sure why but this time I didn’t care. I wasn’t sure until yesterday I even would apply but then I remembered it closes March 1rst. One more chance being up to bat but probably no interview. Even though I can teach these materials with just my pinky.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"