The business of school often feels like a game and I try to learn the rules but no simple playbook. The nice thing about being solo is you make your decisions, live with them, don’t have to prove anything. There was a student who could play some fast passages on his electric guitar, perhaps that was why he was accepted into the program but he didn’t show up on time for the classes and he didn’t give the kind of support to his fellow classmates that I encourage. He seemed indifferent to their ideas and suggestions. In my capacity I was suppose to assign a mark halfway through the term to reflect their participation. I gave him a B. He was freaked out I did not give him an A. I was sort of hoping that would happen, hoping I could get him to think a little differently about being in this collective and his role, my role, the role of his classmates. He wrote me an angry letter. He saw no reason that he didn’t get the highest mark plus he said he always got A’s in high school. The tables were turned. I had to explain my reasoning but it was just subjective, something I could see like running a band and hearing the guitarist out of tune or the bass player doing too many fills over the vocal or the drummer out of time and telling them and them being defiant, you’re wrong, who are you to tell me I did anything incorrect? Prove it. True enough, maybe I’m the one who is in the wrong, maybe every situation everywhere could be seen more than one way. The headlines today prove it, Trudeau just made a mistake, can’t he make a mistake? Trump isn’t racist he just didn’t like what the squad said. El Chapo didn’t get a fair trial, the jury read about all the murders he ordered online.
Magali said you have to take notes. Actually, she rolled her eyes when I told her the story and realized I wasn’t taking notes in the first place, like I am so arrogant to think I can behave as if I’m running a band. That’s when I started taking notes. Now I take notes every time I teach so I can recall what happened or in a way so I can prove my subjective experience. Try saying that slowly prove-my-subjective-experience. Probably, the students don’t also take notes which will make my evidence harder to refute. More rules to be better at the game but more often than not my dreams align with the freedom of being solo.