Reading a book on older mystical biology where they write the brain knows it is lying to itself and pose the question which is the real you? The face in the mirror or that under the skull, determined to convince itself that the thing in the mirror, that winks and says hey handsome – is all artifice? When people applaud after a musical performance does it make sense to accept it as though it was something you did or to remember it wasn’t you that invented sound or these instruments you are touching. Watched a film about John Cage. This university business is all about quoting other people all the time, implying any original thoughts from you are unworthy unless shown to stem from whoever was published saying whatever, before you. I’m thinking now John Cage is my ticket for justifying my interests. He wanted to play nature not the self, even though self is part of nature. Not so easy to explain these things, I’m sure he understood that too since the film was called I Have Nothing To Say and I Am Saying It.