Mustafa, the Lyft driver, told me he was from Turkey. We were moving through the city inside the temporary confessional space that Ubers and Lyfts become. Strangers exchange opinions they would not necessarily reveal to neighbours. I asked what he thought of Erdoğan. He didn’t like him. Neither do I. Mustafa apologized for his English several times. No big deal I said. Then our movie acquired it’s inciting incident – he asked where I was from.

“Winnipeg,” I said.

But Winnipeg was clearly not the answer he was seeking. I recognized the question behind the question. But where before? He asked. What tribe do you belong to. What story did you inherit? What category he should place me in before proceeding.

“I’m a Jew,” I said.

Many Jews know the small pause after that declaration. Not always, but often enough. A moment during which you wonder what version of the conversation is about to unfold. Sometimes you are unexpectedly appointed ambassador for several thousand years of history. Occasionally someone decides it is time to explain the defects of your civilization. It’s my lucky day. Mustafa asked what I thought about Israel, America, and Iran.

Before I completed my first sentence, he launched into his explanation. According to Mustafa, the Israelis always wanted to eliminate all the Muslims in the world except for the Turks, whose army was apparently too formidable. I attempted to respond. Unfortunately, his English was not quite strong enough to follow my explanations, also he preferred his own. Each time I began constructing a bridge, he drove another truck across in the opposite direction. The conversation became pointless. He wanted me to understand that my role was not participant but audience.

At a certain point this reminded me of musical improvisation. Occasionally there is a musician who cannot hear what is being played around them. You offer a phrase but they repeat their own. You change direction and they continue toward a destination they chose long before the performance began. So I nodded. And I found myself thinking how strange human beings are. Enormous portions of our lives spent searching for someone to listen, only to discover what we often mean by listening is waiting politely while we prepare our next speech.