Not long ago I lost an old friend after pointing out what I saw as sympathies in some of her writing that read to me as offensive. I wasn’t trying to say, Hey, you’re an asshole. It became a small science experiment – do I possess the kind of diplomacy to disagree with someone without detonating the friendship? Apparently not. She called me names then blocked me. I understood, but what is one supposed to do? Congratulate them for reaching certainty without being delayed by thought?

Sonny Terry and Brownie McGhee came to mind. I saw them twice when I was thirteen and fifteen. They performed together for decades, but offstage their relationship was strained. They took the stage together but travelled separately, apparently different hotels too. Was cutting each other off worth the hate? I don’t know. When I think about my friend, I may have misunderstood or even have it completely wrong. Time teaches you to maintain surveillance over your own stupidity and mine escaped custody before. But there is the other possibility, which is I see clearly and some ideas really are ugly, and the person defending them can go fuck themselves. Those were her actual final words to me, Go fuck yourself, Bobby. Sometimes the harmony survives the disagreement. Sometimes all that remains is the disagreement, and one member leaves the stage. Sonny Terry and Brownie McGhee might have recognized the arrangement.