I was rehearsing for a special concert. A musician started to show me how to play the piano the way they would. I don’t play like them. I could learn to but it would require at least a week. I said why don’t you do it yourself, I don’t mind at all. He said he can’t play and sing at the same time. He wants me to play the way he plays or else he has no fun. I’ll try my best to do it his way. I wrote up a proposal thing for the PhD people but my style of explaining, of telling my story and my reasoning doesn’t sound academic. I realized this after a couple people read it and gave me feedback. Now I’m trying to sound academic but in truth I feel like now I’m telling lies. I sort of hate it but it also sounds closer to what they want to hear. This is all improvising.