It was the turn for another student’s “song that changed their life” and this young man chose “Love Will Keep us Alive” by the Eagles. They were never a very amazing band to me, especially after I saw the doc on Netflix. It reinforced my opinion, especially when Don Henley unfavourably addresses Neil Young in a final scene. It left me agreeing with Mojo Nixon’s song about Mr. Henley but the student’s story was far from dull. Born in a Manila slum next to a polluted creek he vividly described as all debris and sewage stench, the background of his childhood.
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His father died fifteen years ago, his memories of the man limited to three things. The times he beat him up, or all the times he wasn’t there or the horrible sappy Eagles song (my description) that he played each morning to start the day. The student said he joined a street gang. He started to pull his shirt out of his pants to show us his initiation scars. I stopped him, said we believe you, leave the shirt tucked in. He told us his father used the buckle side of his belt to whip him and during those sessions he desperately tried to internally sing the song to distract his mind. Music partially helped hide his pain during the assaults. He became emotional about the song and how it still transports him to childhood.
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A class discussion followed about parents beating up children. Others nodded from their familiarity. The student with the scars added “it must be that people born in the 60s see these beatings as their love language”. Others agreed. I felt a obligated as the only representative of being been born in the 1960s to disallow equating proof of love with abusing one’s children. I stated my disagreement but I also questioned aloud what was his father thinking? Was he freaked out his son wanted to join a street gang? Not to excuse the damage he did to your relationship but maybe he feared you going to jail or dying violently. Maybe he didn’t know anything else about how to try stopping someone like his son except attacking him.
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The quiet girl at the back of the room who occasionally contributes non sequiturs raised her arm. She asked what was my favourite Eagles song.