Played a show one time with a big-shot and it became apparent quickly if I followed their lead they were creative and pleased but if I took the lead they contributed less and flatter went the music. So mostly I followed their lead, difficult but best solution plus CBC was recording which added another kind of simultaneous pressure towards what we were doing.
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When my grandmother was in her 80s she walked slowly and was becoming a little more frail and I used to go shopping with her for groceries. I remember having two minds about it. At 13 I tried to hurry her up and impose my speed, not a pleasing memory, probably made her feel like a burden. The second was a year later and I started tuning into trying to match her, slowing my steps and repeatedly catching difficulty with the new rhythm, playing in her time was way harder but more rewarding. Difficult to do things are like that.