Some friends thinks I need reassurance when I write about feeling like I lost the crowd. I have felt like I lost crowds many times, I have also had experiences feeling like I climbed the top of the mountain – the thing that interests me most isn’t whether I am liked but how a mind is out of control. Whatever you think is going on might be right, might be wrong. That is more interesting than whether I lost them or impressed them. How many times have people complained about Keith Jarrett when if he shushes a crowd? Do they really think it’s so easy for a performer to reveal they are upset about what they think is going on? Do they really think him oblivious that certain critics won’t hear the music but only the gesture and call that proof he is a spoiled child? Maybe he is a spoiled child but maybe they can’t understand the value behind his intent? Speaking up is risky, always has been. that’s why there are statements on coffee mugs stating there is a special place in hell for people who remain silent in the face of hit going down. Might he not want to take the audience where supposedly they hoped to travel? Might he not know he can’t get there if cellphones, coughing or chatter are prominent? He might be right, he might be wrong.